October 23, 2010

C Student

Being a working mom is a hard job. Being a mom alone is a challenge but then adding a full 40+ hours of work, friends, family and life on top of that and it's impossible to really do a good job at any of it. I used to be an "A" student in my life. I'd send cards in a timely manner, keep the house somewhat organized, be an attentive wife and generally be on top of things. Now, I'm a C student bordering on a D+ in all aspects of my life and I'm coming to accept it.

Some months I excel in some areas more than others but I'm coming to realize that good enough is going to have to be good enough - there are only so many hours in the day. Maybe this is what adjusting to new roles in life is all about - making room for those new roles and letting go of all of the rest. This new attitude is a work in progress but it is refreshing to realize one person can all do so much.

October 16, 2010

Life at Warp Speed

This summer went so quickly that I found it really hard to find the time to blog. Between work, vacations and everything that needed to be done around the house, I found no time to write.

I'm hoping that fall brings a little bit more quiet. I put the garden to bed yesterday and will be planting a ground cover and garlic this weekend; putting to rest an enjoyable, but time consuming, hobby. I've frozen or dried much of our bounty and look forward to enjoying it throughout the winter.

We've also been incredibly sick at our house. Daycare is certainly helping to build Nora's immune system. I've had strep, pink eye, a sinus infection and the stomach flu all within the last six weeks. Joel is on round two of strep this weekend after we all had the stomach flu last weekend. The illness in our home is beginning to wear on me as it happens exclusively on vacation or the weekends. It's been frustrating on many levels but particularly because I've had many friends have babies recently and I feel like I haven't had the opportunity to spend any time with them because my family is constantly infected with something. I know this will all pass and in a year we won't be quite as ill but I'm starting to get a little worn down by the constant string of bugs going through our house.

On a positive note, Joel is feeling a touch better and if he wakes up feeling up to it, we'll try to head off to a pumpkin patch today. I've been wanting to partake in this fall activity since we began waiting for a child, so, I'll be sure to post lots of great photos if the illness gods are smiling on us today.

Since I've been very delinquent posting photos for our vacation. I thought I'd include one from our recent trip to Costa Rica.

October 3, 2010

Nora's First Birthday

Nora's first birthday was on Thursday. The day itself was not remarkable, as sadly, I had to work. Luckily, Nora is too young to know any different and we made up for it with two parties this weekend which were both so much fun. It made me feel so grateful for the amazing people that we have in our lives.

I had some emotions on Nora's actual birthday that caught me by surprise. I found myself thinking about C and J a lot and the emotions that I was feeling on that day a year ago. We had so much anxiety and uncertainty in the hospital and I certainly did not feel like Nora's mom, really, at that point. I had the same bitter-sweet feeling that I had the day she was officially placed in our arms by C and J. Very happy for us and feeling sadness over the loss that C and J and, likely Nora, were feeling.

I'm not sure if biological moms feel an ownership over their child's birthday or if the first year is intense for them as well. Nora's birthday brought up a lot of unexpected emotion for me. I'm sure with future birthdays the feelings will be much different.. I'm sure as Nora becomes more aware of her birthday it will begin to take on new meaning. Of course, there are lots of birthday festivities that I'm excited to blog about but, this being an adoption blog, I thought I'd blog about some of the feelings I had on her birthday.

Luckily, I have C and J's email and was able to send them a not on Nora's birthday. I'm grateful for a good email exchange with C and J and I'm happy that we have a date set to see them again soon. And, of course, more than anything, I'm grateful for this first year of Nora's life.