She's In Labor!

First of all, our Internet is down at our house and I've had a lot to blog about. I decided to take off tomorrow and Friday to prepare and was out visiting donors today for work. I got a call at 11:30 from our caseworker that K has gone to the hospital at 2 cm and they have admitted her.

So, we're supposed to be there at 3:30 pm. We needed to drop the dog at my parents and so I'm quickly using their Internet before we head off to the hospital.

So far all is good. I'm not sure when I'll be able to update this again since C.omcast was coming tomorrow morning to fix our modem that died but clearly we won't be home. Of all times for this to happen!

On a funny note, Joel was so excited about baby that he drafted an email to everyone to announce our birth. He was planning to hit send when the big moment was upon us. Unfortunately, he hit send instead of cancel and prematurely announced the birth to everyone we know. I couldn't figure out why he was clutching his head and yelling "no, no, don't send!". This will be a good story to share with Bambino one day. So, far all of you who got an email- she's not here quite yet.

I'll try to update the best that I can. Please send good thoughts to K and J during this time. Prayers, adoption ju ju, voodoo and all other gestures of good will are welcomed!

Sister Time!

I had a great time with my sister. It was so phenomenal to have her out here pre-baby and as much as I wanted the baby to hurry along, it was great to have that time with my sister.

She bought bambino the cutest baby outfit (as modeled by Joel) that we'll be bringing to the hospital with us.

We had a great girl day on Saturday while her husband was at the Great American Beer Festival. We went for a massage and then out to lunch. It was perfect.

I'll finish with my favorite quote from my sister that pretty much sums it all up. When I asked her why she was paying for my massage she said, "because you're a mess." Spoken like a sister and very true.

Status Update

We received an update from our caseworker yesterday and everything seems to be moving along. K is 1 cm dilated but the baby has not dropped yet. She has another doctor appointment on Tuesday. It doesn't look like anything is going to be happening anytime soon. Sadly, I think it's back to work on Monday for me.

Please think good thoughts about K and J during the next week. I know she is pretty ready to go into labor and it doesn't look like that will be happening anytime soon.

New Due Date - Old Due Date

So, my caseworker called me today and K's caseworker had not mixed up the due date after all. K is due on Sept. 28 and not tomorrow, Sept. 24. I know 4 days doesn't make a difference and babies come when they want. But, sometimes these arbitrary dates are all that you have and when you've been waiting, four days in the opposite direction seems really annoying. So, I scrubbed the hell out of my bathroom floor while prepping for my sister to come and feel much better. It, honestly, really doesn't matter, but it just reminded me of how out of control I am at the moment and sent me on a little tail spin. I know four years of infertility should have taught me this, but, again, I'm a slow learner.

On a happy note, my sister is here!!!! Hooray!

Maternity Leave

I walked out of the office for possibly the last time yesterday until after my maternity leave. Everything is in order and now I can put work out of my mind. My sister and brother-in-law are coming out today so I had already scheduled taking time off this week. I decided to take an extra day today because I needed to get things in order. Depending when labor begins I might not be back to work until January 4- yikes and hooray!

The "getting things in order" aren't exactly what you'd expect. I had a revelation on the way to work on Monday when I was in a nice dry clean only turtleneck and dress pants- I have no casual clothes. I have one or two outfits for the weekend but that's it! Even my jeans are hemmed to wear with heeled boots. I had the sad realization that I was going to be in my sock monkey pajamas for the next three months if I didn't do something. I made a quick trip to Old Na.vy and bought 6 long sleeved plain shirts ($10 each - not bad) and a pair of jeans that can be worn with tennis shoes, clogs, slippers, socks or whatever my sleep deprived mind might put on my feet. So funny that this was my panicked shopping trip. Apparently for me they also need a list of what mom might need on maternity leave.

I also was OBSESSED with how much I hated our laundry area. After going through diaper washing boot camp this weekend I realized I'd be spending a lot of time in the 100 + year old unfinished portion of our basement. I dropped a clean baby sock and picked it up covered in dust bunnies and that is when the melt down began. One trip to Ta.rget and one $14 rug later and my sanity has been restored. It's the little things.

So, I'm putting the finishing touches on the house and baby room both for bambino (still scared to use her name) and for my sister and brother-in-law.

K is due tomorrow so I'm just taking one day at a time and keeping my cell phone glued to me (or at present in the pocket of my sock money pjs).

Nesting

Now that we are five days from the due date I'm finally starting to nest. I spent several hours at Bab.ies R U.s yesterday adding the essentials to my cart and creating a new registry. I'm sure the woman at the counter thought I was crazy when I told her I wanted her to delete my old registry and that I'm starting all over and my due date is Thursday*.

We registered over a year ago so half the products probably aren't even relevant anymore and we ended up getting so overwhelmed we just started adding clothes to the registry. Not the best strategy but it did help us cope. So, it was nice to start fresh.

A co-worker generously gave me many of her baby items including a fantastic stroller and Pack and Play and then was kind enough to accompany me to the store to help decipher essentials from good marketing. I've decided that whoever laid out the floor plan at Ba.bies R Us either has no organizational skills or is a complete genius. You think you're in the sheet aisle and buy the expensive sheets (since most people move in a certain flow through a store) and then you turn a corner two aisles away and - more sheets - but much less expensive. Genius!

I then went to a local store The Giggling Green Bean and had a crash course on cloth diapering. I promptly went home and washed the diapers the requisite three times before wear (although more was recommended on some sites). It felt like baby boot camp doing so many successive loads of diapers back to back but it also made if feel so much more real.

This morning I did my best to overcome my fear of this match falling through at the last minute. I removed the tags from all of the baby items that I have purchased and decided to launder them prior to baby. I even, with great hesitation, removed the tags from the gender specific items and the "I love mom" and "I love dad" super cute onesies and added them to the mix. This was a huge leap of faith for me and they are in the washer at this very moment.

*(There is actually great benefit in this for all you adoptive moms who procrastinate- since your 10% off of your remaining registry items coupon won't arrive on time they give it to you that day so I got 10% off of everything I bought THAT DAY! I consider it the adoptive mom discount).

New Due Date and Fabulous Co-Workers

I've been stressed at work because I was hosting a large meeting today for some donors. I felt like I had to get through this hurdle before I'd fully be prepared to be out of work. With the meeting out of the way, my lovely team kidnapped me for a lunch after the meeting. They took me to a lovely restaurant and showered me with lovely and thoughtful baby gifts. Funny, the most exciting thing was a sign that said "Welcome Nora Grace". It was so exciting to see the name that we (FINALLY) had decided on in writing. It made it feel so real. They also pointed out that this was likely my last Friday at work as I'm taking next Friday off for a visit from my sister. It was so sweet that I received such thoughtful gifts and that my colleagues were so sweet. (Funny aside, one of my colleagues is due in December and is looking lovely and pregnant and it was so funny to imagine the confusion at adjoining tables why I was the one opening all of the baby gifts).

I also received an email from our caseworker that K is actually due on September 24 and not September 28. It doesn't really matter as due dates are so arbitrary but that's in less than a week. Holy crap!!! I love that it's sooner rather than later since I'm so impatient. I'm sleeping with the phone right up by my ear these days. Hopefully, more fun and exciting updates to come.

Adoption is Not Easy for Us Non-Celebrities

I'm a little bit perturbed by all of the international celebrity adoptions taking place these days. I am all for people adopting and raising awareness in the media about adoptive issues. However, I always hope that it is a true desire to parent an adopted child that is driving this trend and that it's with eyes wide open to the issues and blessings that come with adoption.

I feel like with each celebrity adoption this notion of "saving a child" keeps getting reinforced in the media. I've already been on my soapbox about this topic in this blog post: http://waitingforbambino.blogspot.com/2009/05/selfishness-of-adoption.html but it really gets to me. My husband has not had the onslaught of comments as much as I have because he's a much more private person but now that he's been making our imminent adoption public he's been confronted with this notion of the "noble adopter" so much more. Of course, he always gives the pat answer of "we're the lucky ones". I wish that somehow we could change this notion. I guess we can one person at a time.

It's also frustrating because the adoption process is not easy. It's mentally, emotionally and financially taxing and I think that sometimes people loose site of this. While I'm so incredibly excited for our baby to (hopefully) join us there are so many conflicting emotions that take place inside my heart and mind each day around this process that the flippantness with which adoption can be treated in the media and society has struck a particular chord with me in my current state of angst.

I'm now stepping off the soap box and feel much better getting that off my chest and into the blogosphere (yet again). You'd thinking all that soaking in New Mexico would have calmed me down!

Baby Moon

Joel and I decided to clear the over-booked calendar for a weekend and take a trip to Ojo Caliente in New Mexico. It's a hot springs that we used to go to a lot but haven't been back in such a long time. It was really nice to revisit this decidedly un-kid-friendly place.

Ironically, a friend and I went here about four years ago for a last-hurrah before baby (because of course we were going to get pregnant immediately). I'm not letting this past experience jinx me (although it did cross my mind).

It was so relaxing to just forget about everything and go soak away all of our pre-adoption anxiety. It reminded me how important it is to take time out and to focus on your relationship. We had such a great time relaxing together and talking. It was definitely worth the reality check that we both got upon returning to the real world.

Second Meeting with K and J

I just finished our meeting with K and J today. It was so nice to be able to meet with them again. We met at Starbu.cks so it was so much more comfortable than meeting at the agency. The meeting was great. We were able to laugh and share stories and discuss names. It was so nice to be in such a relaxed environment. It was great because K brought her mom so we were also able to meet her as well and more importantly, she was able to meet us. It was such a nice meeting and I think we all feel really comfortable with each other.

It sounds like she's right on track with her due date and might potentially be a little bit early. She was also kind enough to bring an ultrasound picture for us. It's surreal to look at and to think that that might be my daughter. I'm still having a hard time wrapping my brain around what is happening. I'm not sure why this is. I can't explain my emotions at the moment. I look at the ultrasound and feel hope and excitement mingled with sadness.

Adoption is so intense. As much as you want to experience the joys of adoption you know that the process contains so much sorrow as well. It feels so hard to think about everything that K and J are going through. It's got to be such a painful process and I think my mind right now is having a hard time getting passed that. I just keep thinking about what our caseworker said to us, "take one day at a time".

For today, I'm very grateful for an amazing meeting with some very amazing people who are soon to become an intimate part of my life. I'm also beyond-words grateful for a glimpse at my future daughter.

Continuing a Tradition

Joel's parents came down to visit yesterday and brought with them a bassinet that they had lovingly restored and finished. The bassinet has been passed down to numerous family members. The tradition is that each child's name is written on the base of the bassinet to indicate that they have used it.

Joel's parents both spent quite a bit of time refinishing and staining the bassinet to perfection. As you can see, it's perfectly restored. I've also received some beautiful heirlooms from my parents including hand knitted sweaters that my mom had worn and a beautiful quilt in which each of my aunts embroidered a square for me when I was born. It's so amazing to have all of these family heirlooms. I'm so grateful that these have been saved to be passed on to us.

The baby room is still a work in progress. It took Joel a few days to paint the baby room. He re-painted the ceiling, the walls and finished the trim. The room looks great. I have yet to put back together the crib or get anything else together but it's in the closet when I'm ready.

We are meeting K and J tomorrow for coffee. I've had a lot going on in my life this last week, including, unfortunately, a death in the family, so I haven't really thought about this much. If anyone is on the other side of adoption and has any recommendations of things to discuss that I might not think of, please leave me a comment. My mind is not in the best place at the moment.