Paranoia

In my job, I am exposed to a lot of very dramatic stories related to children's health. I basically spend most of January and February talking to parents who have been through the worst things that any of us can possibly imagine with their children- brain tumors, SIDS, cancer, open heart surgery and the list goes on. This, under the best of circumstances, can make me a bit crazy.

Being back to work as a new mom and having parents relay to me the worst moments of their life is very intense. I have to constantly remind myself to take a step back. Every story always starts the same, so and so was healthy and then we noticed blah blah blah and then so and so ended up in the hospital with horrible life threatening issue.

So, here is my crazy confession. Nora keeps grabbing her head in the same spot. Every day she grabs her head in the same spot. Crazy mom brain tells me that she has a brain tumor and I should mention it to the doctor tomorrow. Normal, sane Jen tells crazy mom that she clearly is fine and has no other signs of a brain tumor. This is the space I am currently residing. Crazy land.

I will act like a normal human being tomorrow at the doctor. However, I am going to inquire about her obsession with one particular spot on her head without mentioning the word tumor. I will also let the doctor know that I work at a children's hospital which makes me slightly more paranoid and crazy than the general population. Other than that, I'm pretty excited to find out how much she weighs. I am asked how much she weighs more than I would have ever imagined but I just can't bring myself to get on a scale these days. (I think it's karmick punishment for gloating about not having baby weight- see earlier post).

All important stats on my lovely four month old will be posted tomorrow. (Hopefully, the pediatrician doesn't recommend that I find a new practice).