August 23, 2009

Baby Room Round 2

It's been a whirlwind of a month. We've officially been in our house for about 5 weeks and we're finally getting settled. Most things are unpacked (except for the stuff we put in the basement and just shut the door) and we are slowly making things are own. We still don't have any of our artwork up on the walls and there is a lot of painting that we'd like to do.

Prior to a couple of weeks ago I decided I was going to leave all of the baby stuff in the closet. I had moved everything into the closet to clean the room and then decided that that was where the nursery was going to stay. Of course, the morning that I came to this decision we got the call.

We're now fixing up the baby room again. The previous owners had it painted a bright yellow. It's a cheery color and I don't really mind it but Joel can't stand it so we're going to paint the room. Bright yellow wouldn't be my first choice for the baby room so I'm happy to comply. So, today, we are going to fix up the baby nursery. We've put paint swatches on the wall to determine the very best color and off we go.

I have to be honest- I'm still reluctant to set-up the nursery. I'm even more reluctant because we are going to have our baby girl in mind as we paint the nursery and begin to get everything fixed up. I think it was easier when we didn't have a baby in mind to set-up the nursery. My mind keeps going to "what if this doesn't work out". This nursery is directly across the hall from our bedroom. I can't fathom seeing it every day if this doesn't work out. (But, then again, I won't have to because I'll be taking a very very long vacation somewhere:).

I'm still allowing myself to get excited and to pick out names. I've ordered bottles and nursery accessories off of Ama.zon and we are definitely preparing. I'm really excited but there is that voice in the back of my head that keeps telling me to be careful. I think it's all the years of fertility treatments and disappointments and our failed match that are so hard to shake.

I'm not sure what will put my mind at ease other than having baby in my arms at home. K and J are amazing and have created such a thorough plan. It's really the most ideal situation and so well thought out and I think that's what scares me the most.

Now that that's all off my chest, I'm off to paint and create a more restful atmosphere for the baby so she doesn't have to wake up to electric yellow every morning.

5 comments:

  1. Enjoy setting up the nursery. I know it's hard to throw yourself back into that mindset, but try to give in to it. This is a happy time for your family, enjoy it!

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  2. Have fun re-setting up the nursery!

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  3. I think you should get excited. IMHO, if the worst case happens you will be upset even if you had tried to lower your expectations, so there is nothing to be gained by lowering them (and positive things to be lost from not letting yourself get excited). But that is easy for me to say as an observer, and obviously you know how you feel better than I do! Once you get the place more set up I hope you post a picture!
    Lane

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  4. Jen, anything can happen, whether you're pregnant and a month away from delivering or adopting and a month away from bringing home your lovely new child. I think you have to let yourself move forward as if. Act as if it's all going to happen. The nursery being done or not done will not change how you will feel either way. Step into it with joy! That's the only way to live life: no holds barred, no regrets.

    I am so very excited for you!

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  5. You can only live in the moment, and right now that includes a Baby Girl in your future. Soon! So enjoy putting together the nursery. You've waited a long time for this. Sending lots of love. SLA
    ps. Ben is also not a fan of yellow. What color are you going with?

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